Benefits of Submission - BDSM


Benefits of Submission - BDSM


A lot has already been written about submission on blogs, memes, quotes, and images abound of “sub’s” and their so-called “Doms.” However, what most BDSM sites and blogs present is fantasy, sexual thrill, and at times outright intimidation and abuse rather than an exploration of genuine submission and the amazing rewards it can bring to a Dom. Earning the submission of another human being is a process that takes patience, dedication, concern, love, empathy, listening skills, and above all, integrity. But if or when it happens, the feeling is indescribable!


Submission is earned; it is neither forced nor manipulated. And to be meaningful, it must come from a woman whom I unreservedly revere and admire. The stronger her pure intentions, intellect, artistic ability, grace, kindness, and beauty, the greater the reward of earning her submission. Also, on that note, earning the submission of such a woman is not the end state but rather just the beginning because I crave to discover more of her. To do that, she must be allowed to grow to her full potential, which means giving her the space and encouragement to be everything she is capable of being. She is the gift. The better and more whole she is, the more precious the gift she is to me.


Therefore, in my way of thinking, a submissive is not a slave. Quite the opposite. She is a free being who has chosen of her own will to give herself unreservedly to me. Catching a hummingbird in a net just feels mean-spirited and destructive. Having that same hummingbird land on your fingertip of its own accord is a soaring experience. So it is for me with a woman’s submission.



There are many women (and men) who are so insecure they will throw themselves at the feet of a Dom for sheer acceptance and the illusion of love. This is not submission; it is desperation. In it, there is very little reward for a Dom beyond pitty and satisfying their own broken wing syndrome; rescuing. This is not submission; it is codependence and is vastly unhealthy for all involved.


But, when a would-be Dom can reach into the mind of a confident, well-read, intelligent, and capable woman, captivating her imagination and earning her respect and adoration, magic happens! When she bends her knees of her own accord. When you see the look of adoration in her eyes. When she unreservedly gives you her heart, mind, and soul. Pure Magic!


BDSM, S/M, and D/s imagery focuses most on the physical aspects of the power exchange. This is only natural…it is what sells the best. Only the occasional image adequately begins to convey the strength and beauty of the spiritual and emotional bond between a submissive and her Dom. However, when it does, it is a special illustration and genuinely stands out. Usually, the devotion shows first in the eyes and secondarily in the postures of the Dom and/or his submissive. Feelings are so difficult to capture in an image, and yet they are the essence of D/s.


In real life, the reward for me for submission is 90 percent mental, spiritual, and emotional. When the bond is strong, and the challenge of successfully leading a submissive is great, my heart and mind become immersed in the relationship and how to make it stronger and more fulfilling for both of us. My brain is fully engaged. My imagination is energized. My heart beats stronger. I want to be a better man and a better Dom…every day. I want to be all that I possibly can and, in so doing, inspire and motivate my submissive to strive for her full potential.



D/s between a healthy and confident man and woman (or any combination of the sexes) is an immensely positive relationship. Far from the dark imagery of floggings and physical challenges, it is a spiritually uplifting experience. And with that spiritual bond firmly established between a Dom and a sub, the bodies have no choice but to follow. With the combination of mutual devotion, trust and adoration come an environment where all physical experiences and rewards become possible. In that secure space that we create and nurture between us, we can indulge in the physical, dance in the darkness, and explore the power exchange in all of its physical manifestations. More magic!

To the submissive - Give your heart, your mind, your soul to the right Dom and he will give you physical and emotional sensations unimaginable.


To the Dom - Lead genuinely with your heart and mind, and the body will follow.

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