Attachment Theory in Adult Relationships Styles
Have you ever jumped from relationship to relationship every few months, wondering why you can't find the perfect partner? Or maybe you've been left wondering why the partners you choose are always emotionally unavailable.
What if you knew that your relationship choices and the way you attach to others had been established since you were in the womb?
Attachment theory in adults identifies the way you relate to and depends on others. Attachment theory also shows how we show up in our relationships.
How does the way you attach to others affect your relationships today?
Although there is a lot of nuance and variability that goes into defining your attachment style, there are three general styles of attachment:
1. Avoidant. People with this attachment style see intimacy as a loss of independence. Because they see dependence or needing others as a weakness, they subconsciously find fault in their relationships. Avoidants want to be close but push potential partners away as a means of protecting themselves. Shift your belief: sharing experiences and closeness with others can bring happiness and meaning to your life.
2. Anxious. People with this attachment style crave physical and emotional closeness. Because they fear they are not good enough, they often worry about being betrayed or left by their partner. Being pushed away by their partner can make these people more anxious and increase their clinginess.
Shift your belief: you are good enough.
3. Secure. People with this attachment style are comfortable with intimacy. They are reliable, trustworthy, and consistent partners who know how to communicate expectations and respond to their partner's needs.
Studies show secure attachment style indicates greater happiness and satisfaction in your relationships.
Do you identify with an anxious or avoidant attachment style? Research today shows that you are not cemented into that attachment style for life.
You can make a conscious effort to have a secure attachment style. They are not necessarily set in stone.
If you are anxious or avoidant, you can take steps to have more fulfilling relationships and move towards a secure attachment style with greater fulfillment in your relationships. Consider these steps for more fulfilling relationships: