The hard truth is every one of us feels insecure in our lives and our relationships from time to time. Insecurity can reveal itself in many different styles. Here are five of the top types of relationship insecurity that can destroy your BDSM relationship:
Jealousy - Jealousy is about you and not the person you're jealous of. Feeling jealous of someone usually means that we aren't feeling fabulous about ourselves, and we see something in them that we think we are lacking. So if we see another guy or girl as a threat in our relationship, it's usually because we perceive them to have qualities that we don't have. We become insecure and afraid that our partners would prefer to be with someone more like that person. The more secure we are with our relationships, and ourselves the less likely we are to become jealous. It comes down to the fear of knowing that the person we are with deserves better than we think we can offer.
Clinginess - Being clingy or needy in a relationship is a sign of insecurity. When someone is insecure about their partner's feelings, they can start to cling and act desperate, afraid that their partner will forget about them or find someone better if they take time apart. Clinginess is a need to be together all the time, for fear of what will happen when you're apart. If you're a secure and confident person, you'll know that you can take time away from your partner, and the relationship will be better for it.
Seeking validation - If you constantly need to hear how your partner feels about you or how they think about the relationship, it's a sign of insecurity. If you never feel like you know where you stand and always need to be looking for validation in your relationship, you probably aren't very confident in that relationship. This can be because of our feelings of insecurity or low self-esteem, but it can also occur if our partner sends mixed signals or doesn't communicate their feelings at all or in a way we understand.
Playing games - People play games in relationships when they don't feel secure or confident. For example, you might not feel confident in their feelings for you, so you try to make them jealous. Or you aren't confident in yourself, so you play hard to get to come across as more incredible or more popular than you think you are. When you're a secure person, it's easy to be yourself and not worry about playing games to get someone to like you.
Comparing yourself to their exes - There is a reason why your partner and their ex broke up and aren't together anymore, yet many people still compare themselves to their partner's exes. This is a sign of insecurity in the relationship. If you were secure in yourself and your relationships, you wouldn't be comparing yourself to their past partners and worrying about how you measure up.
