top of page

How to Get Your Partner to Be More Dominant in Bed: Explore the Art of Intimacy

How to Get Your Partner to Be More Dominant in Bed

How to Get Your Partner to Be More Dominant in Bed

Table of Contents

Are you looking to add a new level of excitement and pleasure to your sexual relationship? Do you yearn to explore the depths of passion and intensity with your partner? If so, the world of Dominance in the bedroom may hold the key to unlocking a realm of thrilling experiences and undiscovered desires. In this comprehensive guide, we will take you on a journey to discover how to encourage your partner to embrace their dominant side and explore the art of Dominance in bed.

Dominance in the bedroom doesn't involve exerting control or Dominance over a partner in a harmful way. Instead, it revolves around consensual power play, role-playing, and creating a dynamic that fulfills the desires and fantasies of both partners. It explores trust, vulnerability, and the uncharted territories of pleasure that can breathe new life into your intimate encounters.

But how can you navigate this path of Dominance with your partner? How do you approach the subject, establish boundaries, and cultivate mutual respect and consent? With the proper guidance and a commitment to open communication, you can create a safe and fulfilling space where both partners can surrender to their desires and embark on an exhilarating adventure together.

In the following chapters, we will delve into the various aspects of Dominance in the bedroom. We will explore the importance of communication and consent, discuss the nuances of dominant/submissive dynamics, and provide you with practical tips and techniques to build confidence and empower your partner's dominant side. Together, we will navigate the intricate balance between Dominance and respect and show you how to incorporate Dominance into foreplay and aftercare for a more holistic and satisfying experience.

Whether you're new to Dominance or looking to deepen your existing dynamic, this guide will equip you with the knowledge and tools to infuse your sexual relationship with a newfound passion and intensity. So, let's embark on this journey together and unlock the door to a world of pleasure and exploration that awaits you and your partner.

Understanding Dominance and Submission

Before diving into how to encourage your partner to be more dominant in bed, it's essential to establish a clear understanding of what Dominance and submission entail. Dominance and submission are part of a broad spectrum of power dynamics that can be explored in a sexual relationship. It involves one partner taking on a more controlling and authoritative role (the dominant) while the other takes on a more passive and obedient role (the submissive).

It's important to note that Dominance and submission should always be consensual and based on open communication between partners. Consent and respect for each other's boundaries are essential in exploring power dynamics. It's also crucial to remember that Dominance and submission are just roles played in the bedroom and do not reflect the relationship dynamics outside sexual encounters.

The Importance of Communication in Dominant/Submissive Dynamics

Open and honest communication is the key to successfully exploring dominant and submissive dynamics with your partner. Discussing your desires, boundaries, and expectations before engaging in any dominant play is crucial. Discussing your fantasies, interests, and limits will help ensure both partners feel safe, respected, and understood.

To facilitate this conversation, creating a safe and non-judgmental space where you can discuss your desires openly can be helpful. Listen to your partner's needs and wants and be open to compromise and negotiation. This communication process will help you understand each other's desires and foster a deeper emotional connection and trust between you and your partner.

Building Confidence as a Dominant Partner

To encourage your partner to explore their dominant side, it's essential to help them build confidence in their role. Trust is crucial in embracing Dominance in the bedroom, allowing the dominant partner to take charge and assert their desires and fantasies.

Positive reinforcement and encouragement are one way to support your partner in building confidence. Tell them how desirable and attractive their dominant side is to you, and reassure them that their desires are valid and exciting. By expressing your enthusiasm and appreciation for their dominant role, you will help boost their confidence and make them more comfortable taking charge.

Exploring dominant role-playing scenarios can also be an excellent way for your partner to step into their dominant persona with less pressure. Role-playing allows both partners to assume different characters and engage in playful yet exciting scenarios. This can help your partner experiment with Dominance and discover what aspects they enjoy the most.

how to get  your partner to be more dominant in bed

Encourage Him to Take Charge: Building Dominance in Your Relationship

Encouraging your partner to take charge and become more dominant can add excitement and passion to your relationship. Many women fantasize about having a dominant partner in the bedroom and everyday life. Let's explore some practical strategies to help you encourage your boyfriend to take charge and embrace his dominant side. From building his confidence and self-belief to providing encouragement and avoiding criticism, these tips will help create a more fulfilling and satisfying dynamic in your relationship.

- Learn to let him lead: Allow your boyfriend to take charge outside the bedroom. By deferring decisions to him and asking for his opinion, you show that you trust and value his leadership. This will build his assertiveness and carry over into your intimate moments.

- Put Your Trust in Him: Trust fosters your boyfriend's dominant side. Trust his judgment when he makes decisions, even if you don't entirely agree. Constantly questioning his decisions or expressing doubt will only chip away at his confidence. Supporting his choices and showing him that you believe in his abilities is essential.

- Encourage: Positive reinforcement is vital in reinforcing your boyfriend's dominant behavior. If he exhibits the qualities you admire, let him know! Whether it's a subtle hair pull during a passionate moment or a simple act of taking charge, express your enjoyment and appreciation. These small gestures of encouragement go a long way in boosting his confidence and embracing his dominant side.

- Avoid nagging and criticism: Nagging and criticism can quickly diminish your boyfriend's confidence and willingness to take charge. Instead of constantly reminding or criticizing his actions, find more constructive ways to communicate your needs and desires. Open and honest communication, without a negative tone, will create a healthier and more supportive environment for both of you.

- Say, "I'd like you to make me your priority": This simple phrase can work wonders in encouraging your boyfriend to be more dominant. Whether choosing what to wear, where to eat, or how to spend your weekend, allowing him to make decisions on your behalf will showcase his leadership qualities. Remember to say it with a smile and playfully, minimizing any sense of testing or confrontation.

Building your boyfriend's dominant side requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to let go of control. By incorporating these strategies into your relationship, you can create a safe and empowering environment for both of you. As your boyfriend becomes more assertive and confident, you'll likely see a positive shift in your sexual experiences, leading to heightened pleasure and fulfillment.

- Ask him to plan a date night: Let your boyfriend decide what you should wear. Get creative by asking him to choose an outfit from your Instagram feed or by sending him photos of different options and having him pick his favorite. This allows him to assert his preferences and showcases your willingness to follow his lead.

- Ask him to select your meal: The next time you order takeout or eat at a restaurant, let your boyfriend pick what you eat. Ensure to follow the golden rules of not setting him up to fail or making it seem like a test. By relinquishing control over meal choices, you reinforce his decision-making abilities and give him a sense of authority.

- Ask him to plan your weekend: Express your desire to spend quality time with him and let him take the lead in planning your weekend activities. Be open-minded and willing to go along with his ideas, even if they differ from what you usually do. This will allow him to exercise his dominant side and show you new experiences.

- Ask for his advice: Another effective way to encourage your boyfriend to take charge is by seeking his advice on various topics. After he shares his thoughts, thank him for his contribution without debating or arguing. This shows that you value his opinion and trust his judgment, further building his confidence in his dominant role.

By actively encouraging your boyfriend to take charge and become more dominant, you fulfill your fantasies and foster a deeper connection and intimacy in your relationship. It's important to remember that Dominance is not about control or power but trust, communication, and mutual consent. As both partners grow and explore their desires, the dynamic in the relationship will evolve and deepen over time.

Taking the Dominance to the Bedroom

It's important to note that embracing Dominance in a relationship requires open and honest communication. As you encourage your boyfriend to take charge, have conversations about boundaries, comfort levels, and consent. Discuss what you are comfortable with and establish a safe word to ensure both partners feel respected and protected. This creates a foundation of trust and allows for exploring dominant and submissive roles consensually and healthily.

- Explore power dynamics in the bedroom: As your boyfriend becomes more comfortable with taking charge, you can explore power dynamics in the bedroom. Discuss your fantasies and desires with each other, and gradually introduce elements of Dominance and submission that both of you are comfortable with. This can include light bondage, role-playing, or experimenting with different power dynamics. Remember to always prioritize safety and clear communication in your exploration.

- Practice active submission: To encourage your boyfriend's Dominance, practicing active bid is essential. Show enthusiasm and eagerness to follow his lead in intimate and everyday situations. This can include gestures like asking for his guidance, requesting that he makes decisions on your behalf, or expressing your admiration for his dominant qualities. By actively participating in your submission, you reinforce his confidence and encourage him to take charge.

- Embrace vulnerability: Being submissive requires vulnerability, and creating a safe space for both partners to express their desires and fears is essential. Encourage your boyfriend to share his thoughts and feelings about his dominant role, and be open to sharing your desires and fantasies. By embracing vulnerability, you deepen your emotional connection and create a stronger foundation for your dominant-submissive dynamic.

- Continuously communicate and evolve: As with any aspect of a relationship, it's crucial to continuously share and grow in your exploration of Dominance and submission. Check in with each other regularly to ensure that both partners feel comfortable, satisfied, and fulfilled. Discuss any concerns or desires and be open to adjusting and refining your dynamic based on your evolving needs and interests.

Encouraging your boyfriend to take charge and become more dominant can add excitement, passion, and a deeper connection to your relationship. It's essential to approach this exploration with a foundation of trust, open communication, and mutual consent. You can create a dynamic that fulfills both desires by building his confidence, providing encouragement, and creating opportunities for him to exercise his dominant qualities. Remember always to prioritize the well-being and comfort of both partners and continue to evolve and communicate as you explore new aspects of your relationship.

Exploring Dominant Role-Playing Scenarios

Role-playing is an excellent tool for exploring Dominance in the bedroom and can help both partners tap into their fantasies and desires. To create a successful dominant role-playing scenario, consider the following tips:

Choose a scenario that interests both partners: It's essential to select a scenario that excites and appeals to both you and your partner. This ensures that you are fully engaged and invested in the role-play.

Discuss boundaries and limits beforehand: Before engaging in any role-play, discuss boundaries and limits. Make sure both partners are comfortable with the scenario and establish a safe word that can be used to stop the role-play if it becomes too intense or overwhelming.

Set the scene: Create a stimulating environment by setting the stage with appropriate props, lighting, and ambiance. This will help create a more immersive and authentic role-playing experience.

Embrace your characters: Take on your designated roles, allowing yourselves to embody your feelings' traits and behaviors fully. This will help create a stronger sense of Dominance and submission within the role-play.

Communicate during and after the role-play: Communicate openly with your partner as the scene unfolds. This ensures that both partners are comfortable and enjoying the experience. Afterward, take the time to discuss your feelings and experiences, allowing both partners to share their thoughts and provide feedback.

Remember, role-playing is about exploring fantasies and desires safely and consensually. It's essential to respect each other's boundaries and to establish clear communication throughout the experience.

Establishing Boundaries and Consent in Dominance

When exploring Dominance in the bedroom, it's crucial to understand boundaries and consent clearly. Establishing boundaries helps create a safe and respectful environment where both partners can thoroughly enjoy the experience. Consent, on the other hand, is a continuous process of checking in with each other and ensuring that both partners are comfortable and enthusiastic about the activities taking place.

To establish clear boundaries and consent in your dominant/submissive dynamic, consider the following:

Discuss openly and honestly: Talk to your partner about your desires, limits, and boundaries. Discuss what activities you are comfortable with and establish clear guidelines for the dominant play.

Use a safe word or signal: Choose a safe word or signal that can be used to indicate when a particular activity needs to stop. This ensures that both partners have a way to communicate their limits and avoid any unnecessary discomfort.

Respect each other's boundaries: It's crucial always to respect and adhere to each other's limits. Remember, consent can be withdrawn at any point during sexual activity, and it's important to honor your partner's decisions.

Regularly check in with each other: Throughout your exploration of Dominance, regularly check in to ensure that both partners enjoy the experience and feel safe and comfortable. This ongoing communication helps maintain a strong and healthy dynamic.

Remember, consent, and boundaries are essential components of a respectful and fulfilling dominant/submissive dynamic. Keep the lines of communication open, and always prioritize the well-being and comfort of both partners.

Enhancing Intimacy and Pleasure through Dominance

When practiced consensually and respectfully, Dominance can deepen the intimacy and pleasure within a sexual relationship. By embracing your dominant role, you can create a space for both partners to explore their desires and fully engage in their fantasies.

To enhance intimacy and pleasure through Dominance, consider the following techniques:

Take control: Embrace your role as the dominant partner by taking control of the sexual encounter. Initiate new activities, guide your partner, and confidently assert your desires. This will create an exciting and pleasurable dynamic between you and your partner.

Explore power dynamics: Experiment with power dynamics by using dominant body language, such as maintaining eye contact, using a firm yet gentle tone of voice, and physically asserting yourself. These subtle cues can intensify the dominant/submissive dynamic and enhance the overall pleasure for both partners.

Incorporate sensory play: Incorporating sensory play, such as blindfolding, light bondage, or temperature play, can heighten the intensity and pleasure of the experience. You can create a more immersive and exciting encounter by stimulating different senses.

Engage in dirty talk: Dirty talk can be a potent tool for expressing Dominance and igniting desire. Communicate your desires and fantasies to your partner, and encourage them to do the same. Dirty talk can enhance the intimacy and pleasure between you and your partner while establishing the dominant/submissive roles.

Remember, the key to enhancing intimacy and pleasure through Dominance is communicating openly with your partner and prioritizing their pleasure and comfort. Experiment, explore, and adjust your approach based on your partner's responses and feedback.

Empowering the Submissive Partner in a Dominant Dynamic

In any dominant/submissive dynamic, empowering and supporting the submissive partner in embracing their desires and exploring their submissive role is essential. Empowering the submissive partner helps create a more balanced and enjoyable dynamic where both partners feel valued and fulfilled.

To empower your submissive partner, consider the following techniques:

Encourage open communication: Create a safe and non-judgmental space for your partner to express their desires, fantasies, and limits. Encouraging open communication helps them feel heard and understood, fostering a deeper level of trust and intimacy.

Offer reassurance and support: Validate your partner's desires and reassure them that their submissive role is essential and desirable to you. Tell them you appreciate their willingness to explore their submissive side and how much pleasure it brings you.

Provide aftercare: Aftercare is essential to any dominant/submissive encounter. Aftercare involves offering your partner emotional support, physical comfort, and reassurance after engaging in dominant play. This helps facilitate emotional bonding, builds trust, and ensures both partners feel safe and cared for.

Empowering your submissive partner creates a more balanced and fulfilling dynamic that prioritizes both partners' needs and desires.

Balancing Dominance and Respect in a Sexual Relationship

Maintaining a balance between Dominance and respect is crucial in any sexual relationship. Dominance does not mean disrespecting or disregarding your partner's boundaries or consent. A healthy and respectful dominant/submissive dynamic is built on mutual respect and trust.

To strike a balance between Dominance and respect in your sexual relationship, consider the following:

Continuously check in with your partner: Regularly check in with your partner throughout your sexual encounters to ensure they are comfortable and enjoying the experience. This shows respect for their well-being and allows you to adjust your approach if needed.

Prioritize open communication: Communicate openly with your partner about their boundaries, desires, and concerns. By actively listening to their needs and respecting their limits, you create a space where both partners feel valued and heard.

Respect your partner's autonomy: Remember that your partner's submission is a choice, and they can set their limits. It's important to respect their independence and never pressure or manipulate them into crossing their comfort zone.

Show appreciation and gratitude: Express gratitude and appreciation for your partner's willingness to explore their submissive side. Recognize and acknowledge their trust in you by embracing their role. This fosters a sense of mutual respect and strengthens the bond between you and your partner.

Balancing Dominance and respect requires ongoing communication, empathy, and a genuine desire to prioritize your partner's well-being. By nurturing a sense of mutual respect, you can create a passionate and respectful dynamic.

Incorporating Dominance into Foreplay and Aftercare

Dominance can enhance foreplay and aftercare, creating a more fulfilling and intimate experience for both partners. Here are some tips for incorporating Dominance into these crucial aspects of your sexual encounters:


Take charge: Embrace your dominant role by taking control of the foreplay. Initiate touch, explore your partner's body, and guide their movements to create a sense of anticipation and excitement.

Tease and deny: Use teasing and stripping techniques to build anticipation and heighten desire. This can involve touch, verbal teasing, or using props such as blindfolds or restraints to control your partner's sensations.

Use power play language: During foreplay, communicate your Dominance through verbal cues and commands. Use commanding language to guide your partner's actions and express your desires. This can create a sense of submission and intensify the pleasure for both partners.

When engaging in dominant power play in the bedroom, the use of language can be incredibly impactful and arousing. Here are some options and examples of dominant power play language that you can incorporate into your sexual encounters:

Commands and Directives:

- "Get on your knees."

- "Undress for me, slowly."

- "Do exactly as I say."

- "Touch yourself while I watch."

- "Open your mouth for me."

Verbal Humiliation and Degradation:

- "You're mine to use however I please."

- "You're such a naughty little [insert a suitable term]."

- "You love being my little plaything, don't you?"

- "You're so desperate for my touch, aren't you?"

- "You're nothing but my submissive toy."

Assertive Statements:

- "I control your pleasure now."

- "You will obey every command I give you."

- "Your pleasure is in my hands."

- "I am the one who decides when and how you will come."

- "Your body belongs to me."

Dirty Talk:

- "You're so wet for me. I love how responsive you are to my touch."

- "I'm going to ravish every inch of your body."

- "You're my good little submissive. I'm going to use you for my pleasure."

- "You're craving for my dominance, aren't you?"

- "You're mine to pleasure and tease."


Provide comfort and reassurance: Ensure your partner feels cared for and supported after engaging in dominant play. Offer physical comfort, such as cuddling or gentle massage, to help them relax and feel secure.

Engage in post-play communication: Aftercare involves open communication and emotional support. Check-in with your partner about their experience, listen to their needs, and offer reassurance and validation. This helps to foster a deeper emotional connection and build trust.

Practice self-care: Aftercare is not only for the submissive partner but also for the dominant. Take time to reflect on your emotional state and needs. Engage in self-care activities that replenish your energy and maintain your well-being.

Incorporating Dominance into foreplay and aftercare contributes to a more holistic and satisfying sexual experience. It shows care and sensitivity for both partners' emotional and physical well-being.

Practicing Dominance Safely and Respectfully

Safety and respect should always be at the forefront of any exploration of Dominance in the bedroom. To ensure a safe and respectful experience, consider the following guidelines:

Educate yourself: Take the time to educate yourself on safe and consensual BDSM practices. Read books, attend workshops, or join online communities to learn about proper techniques, negotiation, and risk management.

Establish clear boundaries: Before engaging in dominant play, discuss with your partner to establish clear boundaries and limits. This includes discussing activities that are off-limits and establishing a safe word or signal to indicate when one partner needs to stop.

Use safe and appropriate tools: If incorporating toys or props into your dominant play, use them safely and within their intended purpose. Educate yourself on proper usage and care, and always follow the manufacturer's instructions.

Regularly check in with your partner: Throughout your sexual encounters, check in with your partner to ensure their continued comfort and consent. Respect their limits and be prepared to adjust or stop the activity if needed.

Embrace the aftercare process: Aftercare is crucial for the emotional well-being of both partners. Engage in open communication, offer comfort and reassurance, and listen to your partner's needs. This helps foster a sense of safety and trust.

Remember, safety and consent are paramount in any exploration of Dominance. Always prioritize the well-being and comfort of both yourself and your partner.

FAQs - How to Get Your Partner to Be More Dominant in Bed

1. How can I encourage my partner to be more dominant in bed?

- Encouraging your partner to be more dominant in bed requires open communication and understanding. Discuss your desires and interests honestly, and express your enthusiasm for their dominant side. Offer reassurance and support, and consider exploring dominant role-playing scenarios together.

2. What are some communication techniques to discuss dominant/submissive desires?

- When discussing dominant/submissive desires, creating a safe and non-judgmental space for open communication is essential. Active listening, expressing your desires and boundaries, and using "I" statements can help foster understanding and encourage your partner to share their feelings. Remember to prioritize respect and consent throughout the conversation.

3. Are there any books or resources on exploring Dominance in the bedroom?

- Yes, several books and resources are available that can provide guidance and insight into exploring Dominance in the bedroom. Some recommended reads include "The New Topping Book" by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" by Philip Miller and Molly Devon, and "The Ultimate Guide to Kink" by Tristan Taormino.

4. How do I establish boundaries and consent when exploring Dominance?

- Establishing boundaries and consent is crucial when exploring Dominance. Have open discussions with your partner about their limits, desires, and comfort levels. Use a safe word or signal to indicate when an activity needs to stop, and regularly check in with each other to ensure ongoing consent. Respect each other's boundaries and be willing to adjust or modify activities as needed.

5. Can Dominance in the bedroom enhance intimacy and pleasure?

- Yes, Dominance in the bedroom can enhance intimacy and pleasure. It allows for exploring power dynamics, the fulfillment of fantasies, and creating a solid emotional connection between partners. However, it's crucial to approach Dominance with respect, open communication, and consent to ensure a positive and satisfying experience for both partners.

6. What are some role-playing scenarios that involve Dominance?

- Role-playing scenarios that involve Dominance can vary depending on personal preferences and interests. Some common scenarios include boss/employee, teacher/student, doctor/patient, or captor/captive. Choosing scenarios that intrigue both partners is essential; discussing boundaries and establishing clear communication about desires and limits is necessary.

7. How can I build confidence in my role as a dominant partner?

- Building confidence as a dominant partner takes time and practice. Focus on self-exploration, education, and embracing your desires. Engage openly with your partner, seek their feedback, and offer support. Consider exploring dominant role-playing scenarios to gain experience and find what works best for both of you.

8. Are there any online communities or forums for discussing dominant/submissive dynamics?

- There are numerous online communities and forums dedicated to discussing dominant/submissive dynamics. Fetlife, Reddit's BDSM communities, and various BDSM forums offer platforms to find like-minded individuals, share experiences, and seek advice or support. Remember to prioritize your safety and privacy when engaging in online discussions.

9. What are some tips for incorporating Dominance into foreplay and aftercare?

- To incorporate Dominance into foreplay, initiate touch, use power play language, and tease your partner. During aftercare, provide comfort and reassurance, communicate openly, and practice active listening. Maintain a nurturing and supportive environment that attends to physical and emotional needs.

10. Can Dominance in bed be practiced safely and respectfully?

- Yes, Dominance in bed can be practiced safely and respectfully by prioritizing open communication, consent, and respect for boundaries. It's essential to educate yourself on safe practices, regularly check in with your partner, and continuously work on maintaining a healthy and mutually satisfying dynamic.


Encouraging your partner to embrace their dominant side in the bedroom is an exciting journey that can deepen the intimacy and pleasure in your sexual relationship. By understanding the dynamics of Dominance and submission, embracing open communication, and prioritizing consent and respect, you can create a safe and fulfilling exploration of Dominance.

Remember to build confidence as a dominant partner, explore role-playing scenarios, and establish clear boundaries and consent. Enhance intimacy and pleasure through Dominance, empower the submissive partner, and maintain a balance of Dominance and respect. Incorporate Dominance into foreplay and aftercare, and always practice Dominance safely and respectfully.

With these tools and techniques, you can embark on a journey of heightened pleasure, trust, and emotional connection with your partner. Embrace the art of Dominance and enjoy the transformative power it can bring to your sexual relationship.



Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Really appreciate this one.


Unknown member
Jul 13, 2023

Informative and helpful, as always! Really appreciate this one.


Jul 08, 2023
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Your articles are the best and helpful

bottom of page