You can't stop thinking about it, you've fantasized about it, and you've decided that it's for you—that's all fine and dandy. Now it's time to see if you can take that theory and put it to practice. There's a distance between wanting to be a Dom and being a Dom, though, and it pays to be aware that there's more involved than what you might think.
Can being a Dom be that hard?
It's trickier than it sounds. There's more to being a Dom than ordering subs around to get your rocks off. Anyone can do that; it makes you a Dom no more than owning a border collie makes you a shepherd. It's also less about the Dom's needs and desires and more about how the Dom can get the most growth and pleasure out of their subs.
Doms tell people what to do; that's the definition, right?
Actually, no. It's more in-depth than that. Connection is essential; being a Dom is not about being the boss, and nobody gets to tell everyone what to do all the time. It's not even about telling all the subs what to do all the time.
The first mistake amateur Doms or I like to call the fake doms, is likely to make in believing that D/s relationship dynamics are simple.
You're a Dom; you see someone who is a sub; as a Dom, your rightful place is telling that sub what to do, and as a sub, that person owes you Respect, right?
Wrong. For starters, if you want Respect, you have to do more than say, "I'm a Dom; I own you, you must worship me!" Saying "I'm a Dom, worship me!" is an excellent way to get ridiculed and laughed at by anyone with experience in genuine D/s relationships.
What many amateur Doms miss is that a D/s relationship is a relationship. Even if it's temporary, even if it happens only at something like a play party, a relationship exists between the Dominant and the submissive because both people have made that choice. Believing that you can tell a submissive what to do before you have established some relationship that gives you that authority is a bit like thinking that any man can say to any woman to have sex with him because, after all, men have sex with women, right?
Men have sex with women, and Doms tell subs what to do—but not all the time, and not by default. Do not assume for even half a second that simply being a Dom grants you any authority or presumption of power over a submissive person; this is as foolish and misguided as assuming that being a man grants you any thought of sex over someone who is a woman.
Now, wait one minute, here. Submissives are submissive because they want to submit to a Dom!
Possibly. But that does not mean that any particular submissive wants to submit to you. Assuming that someone wants to submit to you simply because that person is "submissive" is precisely like thinking that a heterosexual woman would want to have sex with you simply because you're a heterosexual man (or vice versa).
But all submissives owe Dominants respect.
No. Respect is earned. Believing that you're entitled to it simply because you call yourself a "Dom" is a sure-fire way to be labeled a wannabe.
You do not earn Respect by walking up to every submissive you see and saying, "Worship me!"
Submissives, like all people, are human beings. Whenever you deal with human beings, you will find that you have the best success if you treat them as people before you've established any context or relationship. Funny thing, that; people like being treated as people, especially by strangers—launching straight into a D/s relationship with someone you've only just met is premature, and assuming that anyone who self-identifies as "submissive" owes anything to every person who self-identifies as "Dominant" is offensive.
And a big turn-off. The people you see who have all the subs, the ones you run into in the BDSM commun